Pet Peeves

A Pet Peeve is defined as the urban dictionary online as an unpleasant experience you cannot control, or a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as disturbing to themselves. While having coffee with my son this morning we started discussing a number of things we both find annoying when cruising, namely our pet peeves.

Personally speaking I find that all is good and valid when it comes to looking for sex online, but I took the time today to gather a list of the most recurrent and common ones so you can finally figure out why is it that you are not getting as lucky as you would like, or why some days it just takes so long. -in no particular order, just listing them as they come to mind-.

1. Take care of your overall appearance: in RL the most common pet peeves would be excessive body hair, smelly feet or bad breath, some people can't help it but in SL you really have no excuse, if you go out looking for sex like you just came out of Quasimodo's dungeon except the wait to be long and frustrating and most likely ending with you getting off on porn.

2. Know your audience: if you are into BDSM or have a particular fetish, cruise around SIMS with like-minded individuals, if your English is not very good, then go somewhere with people who can speak your language, any public or common cruising areas will simply mean arduous work and the equivalent of trying to find a needle in a haystack.

3. Play it cool: Flirting is fine, so is leading the chat into sex but anything too forward might scare your potential mr. right now away, don't offer sex right off the bat... most people hate it and it makes you look desperate.

4. No pictures: Don't ask for RL pictures or cock sizes or anything too specific unless you are sure the person is comfortable with it and it is listed on their profile. Most people are simply not willing to give out that sort of specific information and will most likely end the chat.

5. Work it: Use your charms, read the profile, figure out what buttons to push and what will the person most likely respond positively to -in short, put some muscle into it-, you can even introduce that knowledge into the intercourse, that will have the person asking for seconds. If you have an empty profile it means that you can't really be bothered and people will react likewise, so try to put at least some basic info in your profile.

6. Begging is for the homeless: Even if the person you are talking to is a friend or someone known for being easy, do not beg for sex, don't play the pity card or pull the heart strings to try and get yourself inside their pants, some people require a lot of work but the result is always mind blowing sex.

7. Chemistry, Chemistry, Chemistry: Most of the hottest sex you will have with people, will be the produce of your chemistry, how you two interact and respond to each other. Myself and many of my friends have even had sextext -this is sex by IM- with a person that was not even on the same SIM to begin with and I think of this fondly, namely because of the chemistry. If it's not happening don't force it, move on and find someone better.

8. An Orgasm is not the final frontier: Cumming is not a goal on itself and you will not get there if you make it your primary objective. Saying that you are a top when you are a bottom will be very obvious when it comes to the intercourse, the same applies to DOMS and SUBS, don't switch roles on the fly just to get off, trust me on this the other person WILL notice.

9. Santa had a list, you can too: Finding people again and again for sex can be time consuming and exhausting. If you manage to friend and keep a few around, even better, not only your circle of friends will be richer, but you will always have someone handy to discretely get off.

10. Don't kiss and tell: Going around bragging who you have slept with and what you did is tacky, keep it to yourself if you expect an encore.

Remember the golden rule, the orgasm is not your goal, the actual intercourse is. Sex should always be a pleasurable experience, being one of those cases where the thing that matters the most is the journey, not the destination -yes even the flirting-. And don't get offended if you fail to comply to any of the above and get made fun of by either the person you are trying to get to sleep with you or their friends, it comes with the territory.

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