Freak like me

Normal, and adjective defining:
1. conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.
2. serving to establish a standard.

That would be the dictionary's definition of normal, something that establishes a standard and follows a norm; most of us like to wake up in the morning and go to bed at night with two conflicting notions, one that assures us that we are indeed special and unique, that there is something about us that justifies our presence and existence in this world, but that is largely due to the fact that we are protagonists of our own story, and then there is the other one, the one that needs to know for certain and without a shadow of a doubt that we indeed fit the norm, follow standards and are nothing different from the rest.

But then again, most of us arrived to second life trying to escape from that norm, maybe out of boredom or as a form of therapy, and those two conflicting notions, along side with the bonds that we make a long the way, keep us logging in on a daily basis, exploring that side of us that we didn't know we had and trying to keep both of our conflicting notions, satisfied.

Like many people in SL, I have loved and lost far too many times, I have loved the wrong guys for the right reasons, dated the right guys for the wrong reasons and I am not ashamed to admit I have slept and ditched quite a few -not as many as people give me credit for-. I arrived to SL partly out of curiosity and mostly trying to find myself while struggling to understand human nature, something that I always struggled with as I was growing up; I always struggled with the norm and fitting the standards, I still strain my brain trying to understand why people do the things they do or keep themselves from speaking their minds or pursuing happiness, when it's clearly within reach.

I am what you would call, in many areas, a freak; it takes a lot to understand me and a whole lot more to tolerate me or let alone wanting to be by my side for long periods of time. I am simple, but can also be quite acid and blunt, most of the time without meaning to, that's just the way I see the world and relate to it. In that constant self discovery that I have engaged when starting my path in SL, while looking for happiness in the wrong places, there have been a chosen few who have stuck by my side all these years -mostly my kids-, not because they had to, but merely because they wanted to-; I kept wondering when mr Right would come and show up in my life, that special kind of freak that would fit just right with me.

Silly me, he was right in front of me all along; my special kind of a freak, someone bent and twisted in the right places, making him fit and click just right. Something I have learned is that there is no normal, it simply doesn't exist, in the end we're all freaks; we all have quirks and issues -unresolved or not- that make us unique and special, which funnily enough creates a norm, in SL -or in life in general- you just have to look hard for you're kind of freak, the one that will finally make you feel like you belong somewhere.

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