Thicker than blood...

Sometimes there are certain things you want out of life that you consider will bring you happiness and due to a number of reasons don't quite happen in the way you expected them, but the end result is better than that which you wanted in the first place.

This can apply to that hunky friends you've had the hots since you can remember, a job or any either area in your life, but I am referring more specifically to gay friendships; much like straight friendships between a man and a woman, is complex if there is attraction and chemistry, but not impossible.

Gay guys are no different, and as a general rule you either seal the deal with sex at least once or you keep it platonic, but there is no middle ground -yes there are friends with benefits, but those end up in relationships or disappearing after a while of recrimination and hatred-, no grey areas to entertain. What happens however if a potential relationship was once in the works but both parties agreed to not sacrifice their idyllic friendship for fear of losing each other? Is it possible to go back to platonic grounds?

The answer would be no, you are either platonic or not, but there are always means for two people who love each other to remain good friends and that is by finding common ground where the needs of each can be met without involving romance. Sure the lack of sex and intimacy might be an issue but looking at the bigger picture, some bonds, those thicker than blood that resist the test of time, are worth fighting for.

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A veces hay ciertas cosas que deseamos en la vida que consideramos nos traerán la felicidad y que debido a un numero de razones, no terminan de ocurrir ó no lo hacen en la forma que esperabamos, pero cuyo resultado final es mucho mejor que el original de que lo que querías.

Esto se puede aplicar a ese amigo buenorro que llevas deseando desde que lo conociste, un trabajo soñado ó cualquier area de tu vida, pero me estoy refiriendo más específicamente a los amigos gay; igual que las amistades hetero entre un hombre y una mujer, es complejo si existe química y atracción sexual, pero no imposible.

Los gay no son tan distintos, y como regla general ó sellas la transacción con sexo ó lo mantienes todo el el plano platónico, pero no hay medias tintas -si vale, existen los amigos con derecho, pero eso siempre acaba en recriminación y odio ó en una relación en el mejor de los casos-, no hay areas grises que mantener. ¿Qué ocurre sin embargo si una relación potencial estaba formándose pero ambas partes accedieron a no sacrificar su relación de amistad bastante idilica por miedo de perderse el uno al otro? ¿Es posible de regresar al area platónica?

Mi respuesta seria negativa, ó eres platónico ó no lo eres, pero siempre hay formas de que dos personas que se aman mantengan una sólida amistad y es encontrando un terreno común, donde las necesidades de ambos sean llenadas sin involucrar el romance. Seguro que la falta de intimidad y sexo puede resultar un problema, pero al mirar todo el conjunto, algunos vínculos, aquellos más densos que la sangre que resisten la prueba del tiempo, valen la pena el esfuerzo.


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All I want for Xmas is you...

Christmas time is for many cultures that time of year when we look back and get some retrospection over the soon to be past year -you do get to do this three times if you are American, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years-

There are paths you take and places you go as a person during the course of your year -mostly justified by your own logic or set of moral rules-, choices you make and things you would have rather not said or done, but which you thought meant happiness; most of the time, it is at times such as the holiday season when, mostly fueled by alcohol or triggered by things around you, when all is brought into perspective and what really matters just shows.

So whether is real life or second life, if you have not taken the time to tell the people around you, those who really matter how you really feel, if there is a close relative you have not talked to in a while, if you are mad at your father or if there is that hunky neighbor or person on your friendlist that you have not worked up the courage to talk to, don't dilly dally or beat around the bush any longer, do as the song says and just go point blank and to the point "all I want for Xmas is you" 

You don't know how much longer you are going to be here, so why linger over stuff when you can just be frank and have a merry old time?

I end this post with a fabulous version of an old time classic which mostly -MOSTLY- inspired this article -hey, we all have unresolved issues-

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Epiphany

BAM! One day just like that it dawns on you. That person that was just a friend becomes something more, you start noticing things that were there all along right in front of your nose, but for some reason could not see.

Apparently you are the last one to see it too, and that epiphany you are experiencing was a rather obvious fact to everyone around you. So what prevents you from being aware of happiness when it's staring you in the face? is it the refusal of leaving a comfortable situation that has worked well so far? A subconscious fear to change?, I mean all of the ingredients are there but they just didn't add up in your head up until that point.

Let's be reminded that comfort may safe, but also the kiss of death for relationships or friendships, settling for safe is not always the best choice, specially if something amazing awaits for you and you just refuse to take the leap for a number of reasons.

Ralph W Sockman did say once "To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."


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MAKING LOVE OUT OF NOTHING AT ALL

Recent events got me wondering about this very subject in SL. What IS love? Is love such a strong driving force that can even be transferred into a virtual platform such as ours? and I am not referring to romantic love exclusively.

There are many types of love, fraternal love, parental love , sibling love, love for our friends and so on… all of them experienced on one degree or another in SL. I have heard friends complain about, and I quote “going to bed crying over an online game” and seriously considering not logging back when their hearts get broken by an unloving “relative” or cheating lover.

Why is it then that, if the feelings we experience are real, some people have the wrong idea that the hurt will also go away by not logging back? Is there a log off switch for feelings that are SL fuelled?

I’ll have to go with no on that one. I have experienced all sort of things a person can experience in SL thus far and second life has that name for a reason; it IS a second life, it has its ups and downs, businesses that make and move money, its own economy and most importantly, love, pain, happiness, drama; all of it takes time, specially when it is about feelings and getting over them, trust me on this, logging off permanently doesn’t make them go away.

Every day people log and create families, adopt children, get married, in a virtual platform that sometimes seems that is, like the song says “making love out of nothing at all”. It is very real nonetheless, since the people behind every avatar are real too. Let’s not forget that SL or not, virtual or not… the feelings we experience are experienced in RL and there’s no log off switch for that one.

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