Born This way...

I believe so strongly on the topic and subject of this article, I will be breaking one of my most sacred rules when it comes to my internet persona, and that is revealing a small part of my RL. The one in the picture is yours truly at the age of 4, back then the world had no sexuality for me and it didn't make a difference in my head, you could have had two heads and I would have simply asked you if there were any others like you and then go on being your friend if you were nice and liked the same stuff I did.

But then I grew up and things got complex, and a whole bunch of unneeded information got engraved in my head, peer pressure, what was assumed I would turn out to be, what I assumed society expected of me and so on... being straight and having a family being one of them.

I fooled myself into believing I liked girls that way, when in fact I didn't and even dated a few in high-school, but there was always something missing; when I finally got over what everyone wanted and came to terms with what I wanted and what would make me happy, that's when my life improved 150 %. I am currently a semi-public internet figure, a gay father of two wonderful gay sons and not once I have let them feel embarrassed or not free to explore their sexuality as they see fit.

Life is a gift and time is precious, time is something you cannot get back, once is gone is gone for good. My only regret in life is all of that time I wasted trying to be a person I was not, so I could "fit in" and make everyone like me, when in fact being myself and honest about the person I had to be and needed to has made me wholesome and happier than ever.

My name is Spike Clémenceau-Silent and I was born gay, so I put my paws up, be out, be proud and never allow anyone decide who you have to be or need to be, the only person whose opinion counts, is yourself.

To join this cause led by Lady Gaga, sign up at: http://bornthiswayfoundation.org/

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

My Reputation

You may have noticed the long writing absence, motivated mostly by RL time constrains -basically, I've been busy as fuck, but like I always tell my sons, busy is always good, it means you are actually getting stuff done- and some of my own actions and words caused me to seriously consider a small short internet / SL break.

I am the type of person that you would consider to have not only a strong personality but to be very outspoken -if something is not right, then it's not ok and I feel compelled to point it out- and sometimes this does not sit in right with people.

This works for me and those who care about me have learned to communicate with me effectively and to know that most of the time, I mean no harm; but sadly sometimes words is the only thing we have in second life, even with voice something that body language and facial expressions add to our communication process, gets lost somewhere, since we don't have any of those in our chat on the platform, making even the best placed words, to be misinterpreted if not placed in the right context.

When it comes to your SL family and loved ones, you place yourself in a vulnerable comfort area, where everything is permitted and let slide, because after all you're all family; but hurting the ones you love, even when you don't mean to carries a heavy collateral that eventually affects you.

Like Joan Jett used to sing not so long ago, I really don't care about my reputation, let them have cake; people will talk, assume and put words in your mouth... it happens, but I have learned that what my loved ones and those who put up with me day by day and want what's best for me think and their opinion about me and the example I give with my actions... that is what really matters.

Let people judge you by your actions and not your words, because talk... is cheap.

I am back and better than ever!

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Equal rights but no Equal Rules

It always amazes me how, as a collective we are constantly fighting for equality, equal treatment and for us all to feel that we are being fairly treated by our governing bodies which seem to ignore a few of our must basic citizen rights, yet when it comes to the inner circle of our community, equality is not precisely common practice.

I've seen it happen too often in Second life, where people are discriminated by size, sexual practices and so on, we have groups within our groups that divide and have their own established rules on who they let in and who is left out, but then again when thinking about it, each segregated group within a group is free -and entitled- to allow anyone with their same life philosophy into their community, as they may see fit.

But what happens when an event that is supposed to promote equality doesn't treat all contestants equally -this by breaking the rules you as an organizer are expected to uphold to begin with-, this is when adjectives such as "fixed" "preferred" and nouns such as "favoritism" come to mind and truly tarnish the good name and image of our fight for equal right.

I have heard a lot of complaints about the pre-selection for the finalists of the Mr. Gay Contest, where many clubs and hopefuls planned events to select the fittest to represent their venue -and many others chose to opt out guessing how things would go-; rules were clear on this, wear The Tag of the Club you are representing and have a completed FULL profile as well, something that many of the finalists didn't have -either the tag or the profile- which sent on a bitch trip to those who didn't make it to the finals and had gone through the trouble of following the clearly stated rules so they would not be disqualified.

Judging by who was in charge of the event and the general organisation, I am not surprised some were given preference over the CLEARLY stated rules; why have them if you have no intention of following them? I won't name names but this person has been known to have issues with rules in the past to favor a few asses he enjoys kissing... all part of rimming I guess.

We're all fags, but no we're not all equals, not even when rules are created to ensure we're all fairly treated.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

38 K

This term, when googled refers to money, a gun and K-Pop -Korean pop that is, which happens to have a larger following than most people think- but judging by the picture, you can pretty much guess what the title and the topic today revolves around.

Money in my opinion is a necessary evil, it's true that it won't bring you happiness, but try to live without it and see how happy you end up being; the issue begins when people start associating it with success or power, something that I've seen happen in SL a little too often lately.

There was a close friend I'll choose to leave anonymous, who confessed to me that he had been grieved by all sorts of drama during his first year in the platform, until he turned things around and became "Mr. Money Bags", basically going from party to party throwing money away, at that very moment and as soon as word got around, he stopped being grieved and was suddenly welcome and liked by everyone; is this happiness? is he really "loved" by everyone now? Does he really have any friends?, I'd dare say he doesn't, because I am willing to bet that as soon as he stops pissing money, things will go back to their starting point.

Then there are the Deejays in Second life, that after some smart networking, become somewhat popular by having built a following and decide to start making monetary demands -a certain amount per set on top of tips for example- which I have never, as a club owner have humored in the slightest, Deejaying for me in Second life is about sharing the music with others, I enjoy it and it makes me happy that people come to my sets and have a good time, if tipping happens then it's more than welcome, but it is surely not my driving force.

Why 38 K? -you may still be asking yourselves-, yesterday I was contacted by someone who, somewhere along the road of his Second Life, decided to become a Deejay; now the thing about DJs is that setting yourself up and finding somewhere to play is incredibly easy and accessible to pretty much anyone willing and able, being good at it, that's a whole different story.

He claimed that he could make 38 k Linden in 4 hours because he was just that awesome, I won't name names but Damien baby -ooops I guess I just did-, not even Madonna and her Virtual Tour can make nearly 40 K in 4 hours. Here's an advice to all aspiring DJs out there, having the tools doesn't make you a DJ; it's not about pulling a playlist together and hoping to make money out of it, it's all about entertainment, something that some, like my very misled DJ D can't seem to be able to do -and no, this isn't me being me, I have never been to his sets, this is mere hearsay-

If you are going to try a professional sector in Second life, make sure that you are doing it for the right reasons, i.e because you enjoy it and think that others will find enjoyment in what you are doing, because in SL, the minute you turn your hobby into a money making machine, that's when you lose that shine and glitter that brings crowds to what you are doing.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Ignorance is Bliss...

Unless you are already ignorant, then the whole happy principle negates itself, you don't know you why you are happy, since you don't know to be living in ignorance, but sometimes information can truly rain on your parade and there are some things that -at least in my particular case- I am happy not knowing.

Both my sons are sexually active, I know this to be true and I rather not know the details, only thing that matters is the sound knowledge that they are being responsible while doing so; now when it comes to relationships there are things that are rather not shared with your other half -those that look best under a veil of mystery-, even if communication is THE KEY for any romantic relationship to work, some information is better not said or shared -this is where trust comes into play-.

But what happens to those who think they know -and are in fact under the wrong belief they hold the absolute truth-, when they truly don't know half the story? Is it your unspoken duty to ruin the mirage of truth they have built around themselves?, my take on this would be that if it doesn't directly affect you, it'd be best to let them live in that fantasy they enjoy so much, because unless you are frontally asked to reveal the truth to them, you'll come as the bad guy -he who destroyed that marvelous fantasy world it had taken them so long to build-

Second life is no different to life itself, even more so because no matter how real it may seem to some long term users and how intense your feelings for your lover, SL family and so on, it is based on a virtual reality we create ourselves and for ourselves.

So keep it real, and if you don't want to know the truth, don't ask.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Love is a two-way street

So says the song and when you really think about it, it is one of the truest statements ever sung; love is a driving force, part of our human nature and need to reproduce and find companionship, support and stability, since we figure that life is already hard enough to be living it on your own.

A good relationship, -a really solid one- is entirely reciprocal. There's always got to be some efficient feedback for it to work, because as soon as the two stop communicating and start assuming, that's when the issues begin.

So the issues arise, the two of you decide to part your ways for the sake of each other and everybody around you, only to find out that life isn't quite the same and that what seems to be the best for all, really isn't the best for either of you. What to do then? Do you hang in your determination of staying apart listening to your friend's advice that you are indeed better off? or do you just go for it and decide to work out your issues? -doing in fact what feels right for you-

That's why love is a two-way street, friends and family may mean well, but at the end of the day, there's two in a relationship, not 3 or 4, so it's up to the two of you to figure out what's best for each other.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

FREEDOM

It's in marked occasions such as today when I am reminded of the road traveled by most Americans over the past decades and what lies ahead of us all. As an American expatriate I often wonder why it takes the US so long to undergo changes that other nations seem to oblige on so easily.

Yes, the 4th of July is all about freedom, celebrating it and being proud about it, but are we all citizens in the US truly free? I'd venture a no, until all citizens are given equal rights a large part of our nation will continue on being discriminated and considered second class citizens.

I don't mean this to be a harsh criticism, but I am simply pointing out the fact that we cannot let our guard down on our fight to equality, no matter how many oppose to it and for what reasons -valid or not-, equality will happen, it is one of those things that is not only unstoppable worldwide, but the day it is achieved everywhere, many will be ashamed that they were even on the wrong side of history.

Yes we are considered free and proud to be so, but those of us who were born with an "alternative sexuality" are not really free, we just live under the illusion on some areas that we are, just like the rest of the citizens out there.

So let's keep fighting until that illusion is no longer one, but a reality. Happy 4th of July!

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Life... meet second Life

As I was making my way to the city center the other day, I stumbled upon somthing that both made me chuckle and surprised me, and that is a housing complex built by none other than a company called Linden Homes -yes, for real, the picture has not been photoshopped-

This made me wonder on that very thin line that seems to divide for some those two realities and I asked myself if it is really there; how many of us have not crossed it at one point or another? how many times have you found yourself hitting the backshift key when you sign an e-mail with your second life name?, or you find yourself standing in queue and inadvertently copying your avatar's AO idle moves.

Whether we like it or not and as much as we try to negate the fact that both our realities are nothing but one, life always seems to remind us that every day of our lives, as we get invested in this adventure that got started for one reason or another, the person behind the keyboard is no one but ourselves, and there's no anonymity or division that will ever be able to alter that fact.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls