Choice

We are always presented with choices, everyday, each moment that passes and every decision we make, causes a slight turn in the path we follow making of this road we call life a winding one full of small possibilities that might change things for better or for worse.

I've always seen making a choice as diving into the sea or a lake, sometimes you are able to see the water you are plunging into, others you take a leap of faith or rely on hearsay to do it but in the end it is you the one who jumps into unknown waters.

Choosing and hence moving forward has always been driven by our need to seek and welcome change; you would think that with the many ups and downs and ongoing changes my life has always been through, I'd be one to happily welcome it, but my steady footing should never be confused with seeking change, in fact I am far from comfortable with it, but when I see that a situation around me has nothing else to offer me, I am more than happy to move onto better things, even if it means adventuring onto the unknown.

I chose 4 years ago to join SL and see what it had to offer, I and no other decided to move to the UK looking for better things, away from everything I knew as familiar and safe. I've chosen my friends and family in SL carefully and to this day, whenever it has been reciprocal, I have always welcomed anyone who has gone and come back with open arms, because that is what family is for after all, specially the one in SL which unlike in life, you choose.

If you are willing and able to take me into your life and make me a part of it, do it with everything I have to offer or don't do it at all, I am responsible for my own choices, past and future because when the time comes for me to move forward and take the plunge, I will do so with a steady pace and not even bat an eye.

It should be about that time when we all take responsibilities for things we do to ourselves and other people, instead of trying to hold others accountable for our own choices, that's like having an orgasm and then turning around and blaming the person next to you for it, no one forced you to strip and go through with it after all.

I make my own choices, I am responsible for my own actions and I will answer for them, eventually.

Happy Easter

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Benefits

Among the many things one gets to enjoy in second life, sex would be the top and foremost on my list, however, like many things people tend to over-complicate something as simple as sex online, but then again it being an imitation of life some drama is always expected, specially when dealing with primal urges and human emotions.

How many times have you heard of that friend -that one special friend we all have-, who just can't seem to be able to find happiness no matter how hard he tries and has made you go to his SL wedding, all four in less than a year?; truth be told, sex and love are not synonyms yet some tend to think they are. Mind blowing sex is not love, that's got a name already and is called lust.

One thing I have instilled on my kids as they were growing up in this complex virtual world is the simple fact that happiness is found in you and you have no one to answer to when it comes to it, other than yourself. My sons both are very sexually active -I am very much well aware- and both have struggled with finding the "right" person to settle down with, but like all things, this wait shall pass and the perfect someone will show up and make everything right.

In my particular case, I have found the perfect balance in a long term relationship with Hiro, while we both balance a few "friends with benefits" we have on the side, and this is the part where you wonder, why look for it out there when you have a loving partner at home you can use, abuse and experiment with?, simply because this is SL and sometimes getting organised around RL and the time difference is complex at best and I know -have the certainty even- that no matter who we entertain those empty hours when the urge comes a'knocking, that our hearts and feelings lie truly with each other.

Commitment and possession are far from being the same things and I have a few friends who struggle with this concept when facing SL relationships, oddly enough when it comes to RL relationships, I happen to be the most faithful partner out there but monogamy is simply a practice that doesn't seem to work when it comes to SL.

So if you have a few friends where the sexual tension is palpable, might as well give it a go; friends with benefits is an amazing invention, it is sex with a person you are close and comfortable with, where little instruction -if any- is needed, who most likely knows you well enough to know what buttons to push to drive you crazy and make of the intercourse a truly mind-blowing experience, where romantic love is simply not a factor.

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P.S: Big thanks to VICE POSES for providing poses for the article pics (link to the right) and to Andyy and my Son Zachy for posing for the pic, love you both.

Two

Something I learned very recently is that, true to my father's wise words, no man in an island at it takes at least two people to do practically anything fulfilling.

Of course there are some solitary activities that one can indulge on, but nothing done in isolation can satisfy any human being in the long run, we require human interaction, feedback and support, whether we are having fun or going through a difficult time in our lives.

Engagements and break-ups are - logically - something that requires two - unless you are a Mormon or one of those in SL that married more than one person -, I tried for a good number of weeks after my divorce to engage in what would be for me and my kids a clean and civil breakup with my ex, but no matter how well intended your wishes for a friendship past a relationship with your ex are, it will never be possible if your now ex is unwilling.

No, this won't be a post where I bash my ex-spouse, not only do I have more class than that, but I have also come to realise that I did try my best to handle what life had tossed us our way, and despite his wish to maybe work things out and rescue what little remained of our relationship, staying in a marriage or partnership that is not making you happy is pointless and is best to end it, even if you do come out looking like a dick.

For those of you who have managed to stay friends with any of your exes, congrats... I know I tried, but it takes two to tango.


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FRIENDS with CAPS

What is the meaning of friendship? What makes a person stand out from the rest and become your chosen refuge from drama, support or random fun?

One of my closest friends in RL said once that your friends are the family you choose; I happen to believe this to be true; but one of the things that have always surprised me is how, flimsy and fragile it seems to be for most people when it comes to SL.

People friend and defriend each other with an ease that simply can't be normal, but in my opinion the only thing that can break two true friends apart would be an offense so horrid to either party, that the trust and love on which such bond is formed is forever broken. I happen to be lucky enough to brag about having a "somewhat" solid SL family, formed by friends who have been around my SL since the very first day, these are my brothers and my sisters, people I can count with and that I know for sure would not betray me or use me, at least not knowingly.

I was given the good news today that one of my best friends and someone who I deem relevant and essential in my SL -and at times in my RL as well- gets to stay in the US and around us in SL for an undetermined period of time I hope will be for a big long while. He may ponder and wonder at times on how strongly I feel for him and how much I depend on him being around, as I am not the cuddliest bear of the block -not the most vocal about it either- but when it really matters, I know I got his back and he's got mine, no matter what

That my dear readers is true friendship, friends with CAPS, unconditional, unbreakable and only changed to evolve into something better.

So if you have a friend you can trust blindly, count your blessings. I got mine right there: http://yusushi.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/meaning-of-friendship.html
Love you B, glad you get to stay with us

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Mr. Big

Even though some will recognize the picture as being the Logo for the Rock Band, this article is not about them, it's about the life character, portrayed and described in the "Sex & the City" TV series -to whom Carrie ends up married-.

Now, who is this Mr. Big person and how can you know if there is one in your life? He is that one friend that you first IM when you log in and who knows all of your darkest secrets, he's the one that is always by your side or within reach and he is most likely someone you love but would not consider dating for a number of reasons.

Why then not just sleep with him or date him and get it over with?, because sometimes in our own comfort zone, contemplating change -even if it's for the best- can be a scary concept, and of all the possible choices available, keeping him as a friend is the safest one.

At the end of the day, we all need a rock, a hard pillar, a safe area to cling to or to simply find shelter; that's why he's BIG, because he's made a big difference in your life and because you know that no matter what you do or say, he'll always be there.

So if you have a Mr. Big in your life, count your blessings and never take him for granted and make sure he knows how much he means to you, at least once, because as wonderful and varied as second life can be as a platform, seeing someone's true colors and finding people to trust blindly is truly a blessing.

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Welcome back

There are moments in your life, when people you hold dear and close to your heart will part from your side for a number of reasons, but the most painful and hardest to cope with is when a friend leaves influenced by what other people say.

My eldest son is a firm believer of paths, he always says that people have a life path they follow and must discover on their own and if it takes them away from you for a while but eventually brings them back, is all good and what's past is water under the bridge.

I just went through just that today; due to a number of reasons I lost a good friend a number of months back and how things ended between us both confused me and caused me pain, because I knew he was being misled. I am not exactly a harmless little puppy, but when I am wrong I know I am wrong and try my best to fix it.

Then today I was approached by him again during one of my sets and after engaging a light hearted chat, we decided to work out our issues and put the past behind us; there are some people in your life that deserve a second chance and that the wrongs done to you lose the weight that caused the division. Whether it is Second Life or Real Life, no matter how much you try and hide the truth, it will always come afloat, even if it takes a long time.

Guess Skylar is right and that there are paths that will always lead back home.

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Brainy choices

Imagine for a second that you are offered the chance to go out with one of two very hunky twins, they both look the same, act the same and to the naked eye appear to be exactly the same, but there are small nuances, more than meets the eye and you know for a fact you will be missing out on those if you choose wrong.

Life is full of choices such as this one, more so in second life, where half the time you simply have to go on blind faith with the information you are provided; there are those you question, there are the ones you trust because they have earned it and the group looking for second chances -never mind the reasons, we've all either been there on either end-

When you achieve moderate success, specially in the club scene, there will be a few who will approach you to either bask on how well you are doing or partake on your hard earned progress -you all know who you are-, but where were they when work had to be done and things weren't as pretty and fabulous as they are now?

I'm always amazed on how, with all of the tools available in Second life for anyone to remain anonymous, get fresh starts or even twist and bend the truth to their convenience, their true colors will always surface for everyone to see and that is mostly done with the weight of their own actions. I am grateful that despite everything going on around me, I have always been able to tell bad choices and bad people from the ones worth sticking out for and going the extra mile.

I try to be a good friend and my work ethics are solid -as long as you reciprocate-, this is mostly because my father always told me that promising was free, it was the actual doing which involved effort and this is where "friends" and those floating around you when things go well, lack muscle.

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Imaginate por un segundo que se te ofrece la oportunidad de salir con uno de dos gemelos que están bastante bien, tienen la misma apariencia, actuán de forma similar y a simple vista parecen iguales, pero hat pequeños detalles que los diferencian y que sabes te perderás si escoges de forma equivocada.


La vida está llena de elecciones como esta, más incluso en el second life, donde la mitad de las veces tienes que tener fé en las personas con la información que te dán; los hay en quienes confías porque se lo han ganado, aquellos de los que siempre sospecharás y el grupo de aquellos que buscan segundas oportunidades -da igual las razones, todo hemos estado allí en cualquiera de los extremos-


Cuando alcanzas cierto exito en el second life, especialmente en el circuito de los clubes, habrán unos pocos que se te acercarán para regodearse en tu éxito ó para formar parte de todo aquello que tanto trabajo te costó -¿pero donde estaban cuando cuándo los tiempos eran dificiles y las cosas no eran tan bonitas y fabulosas como ahora?-


Siempre me sorprende como, con todas las herramientas disponibles en el second life para lograr que cualquiera sea anonimo, empiece de cero ó incluso tuerzan ó cambien la verdad a su antojo, sus verdaderos yo salen a relucir y la mayoría de las veces es debido al peso de sus propios actos. Siempre daré gracias que a pesar de todo aquello que ocurre a mi alrededor, siempre he podido diferenciar a las malas personas y las malas elecciones de aquellos que realmente valen la pena.


Intento ser un buen amigo y que mi etica profesional sea solida -siempre que todo esto sea reciproco-, esto se debe mayormente porque siempre me decía que prometer no empobrecía, lo que realmente costaba era hacer y es allí donde los "amigos" y aquellos que "flotan" a tu alrededor cuando las cosas van bien carecen de peso y sustancia.


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Working girl

They are our mothers, our aunts, our sisters and cousins; they are the woman at Walmart, McDonald's and even the one at Town Hall who's never really nice to anyone and follows bureaucracy to the letter. Most of them juggle a family and a successful career with the added difficulties that being a woman has always implied.

There are stay at home dads who look after the children while mum works, but this is not always the norm and most have to rely on very short maternity leaves and babysitters -or even at times good old grandma ready to brush up on her maternity instinct-

There are the ones I've met, who even go the extra mile and decide to use their very short free time to explore other career paths with the use of SL -many times a DJ or a hostess has said, well it's got to be after so and such time, the kids will be in bed then- and for those of us who complain that there are just not enough hours in a day, imagine adding looking after children to that after a long workday.

To all of those women out there who sacrifice their time and lives to the well being of their families, this being second life or real life ones -or both- a Happy International Women's day; and if you haven't, call your mum, sisters and others in your family and thank them for all they do.

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Son nuestras madres, tías y primas; son la mujer del super, del McDonald's e incluso aquella en el ayuntamiento que nunca es amable con nadie y sigue la burocracia y el papeleo de forma estricta. La mayoría balancean una familia y una carrera exitosa con las dificultades añadidas que supone ser una mujer.

Hay padres que se quedan en casa a cuidar de los hijos mientras mamá trabaja, pero esta no es la regla general, así que la mayoría se resguardan en una baja por maternidad bastante corta ó en niñeras -incluso en la abuela, que le saca brillo a su oxidado instinto materno-

Las hay que van incluso más allá y deciden usar el poco tiempo libre que les queda para explorar otros caminos profesionales en el second life -muchas veces una DJ ó anfitriona me ha dicho, si puedo pero después de tal y tal hora que es cuando los niños están en la cama- y para aquellos que nos quejamos de que no hay suficientes horas en el día, imagina añadir hijos, después de un largo día de trabajo.

Feliz día de la mujer trabajadora a todas aquellas mujeres que sacrfican sus vidas y tiempo para estar con sus familias -ya sean estas la de la vida real o la del Second Life-; y si no lo has hecho, llama a todas aquellas mujeres de tu familia y dales las gracias por todo aquello que hacen.


https://www.facebook.com/spikecls 

Feedback

There are moments in your life, whether this is RL or SL where you are left wondering if your efforts to keep all of those you consider your family happy are really worth the trouble and this is when what I call "the feedback effect" comes in handy.

It is defined as an event being part of a chain of cause-and-effect that forms a circuit or loop, then the event is said to "feed back" into itself, so when it comes to human interaction, the actions and sacrifices you make to keep those around you happy, logically feedback to you in happiness -that is in theory- as providing happiness is by itself a selfless act, hence creating a loop.

But what happens when it is you, he/she who always provides happiness the one in need of servicing? when the rules of the game change, that is when you are shown those who are worth feed-backing towards and those who can do without, simple as that. 

Never forget that never mind the reasons of your usage of SL, your needs are those which you need look after and then everyone else's. You simply can't go around trying to please everybody, because in the end you forget to make the most important person in you life happy, yourself and if it's for approval what you're after, an applause will sound louder from those who truly mean it.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls 

The string with two ends

I have noticed that people in social platforms, this being second life or any other, have the habit of becoming friends with pretty much anyone. We exchange two words, and sometimes not even that and people get instantly friended and some even go to the extent of making a scene when they are removed because quite frankly, you two barely speak.

The friending protocol varies from person to person, my oldest son won't just go and friend anyone unless he gets to know them really well, which I can respect; I have come to the habit of being picky when adding friends to my list, but truth be told, sometimes if the person I am speaking to happens to have something in common with me, I'll go ahead and add them.

This wasn't always so, as a SL deejay, I felt that the more people I added to my list, the larger group of people I'd manage to get to the set, but experience shows you that this isn't always so and some "friends" will even jump on your IM to ask you not to mass TP them -this is how avatars move in SL by Landmarks or direct teleportation-; this is something that happens to me quite frequently and up until recently, I have respected people's wishes to be skipped from mass TPs, but then I today I got someone who not only requested to be skipped but added "if only we talked, but all I get are tps"

To that I have an answer, friendship is like a rope or a string... it has two ends... your end and mine, friendship is supposed to be reciprocal -the real one-, if not what's the point.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Me ha dado cuenta de que en las plataformas sociales, ya sea esta el second life o cualquier otra, las personas desarrolan el hábito de hacerce amigos de cualquiera. Intercambiamos dos palabras, y a veces incluso menos y las personas se hacen tus amigos de la forma más casual e inmediata, habiendo algunos que te montan una escena cuando los eliminas de tu lista, porque no sólo no tenian nada en común, sino que nunca se hablaban.


El protocolo de amistad varía dependiendo de la persona, my hijo el mayor por ejemplo no se hace amigo de cualquiera sin haberlos conocido en profundidad antes, lo cual puedo respetar; yo he desarrollado el hábito de escoger con cuidado a quien agrego, pero sea dicha la verad, si hay veces en las que hablo brevemente con alguien y encuentro que tenemos cosas en común, los agrego sin más.

Esto no siempre fué así, como deejay en el second life, tenía la idea preconcebida de que mientras más personas agregase a mi lista, la mayor cantidad de personas lograría traer al set, pero la experiencia me ha demostrado que esto no ocurre así, y algunos "amigos" brincarán en los que les mandas un TP -así es como las personas se mueven en el second life, via teleportación o vínculos directos llamados "landmarks"-; esto es algo que me ocurre con cierta frecuencia y hasta hace poco he respetado el deseo de algunos de no ser enviados los TP, pero hoy me llegó alguien que no sólo me pidió que no lo hiciera con él, sino que además agregó: "si tan siquiera hablaramos, pero lo único que recibo son TPs"

Para esto tengo una respuesta, la amistad es como una cuerda con dos finales, el tuyo y el mío, la amistad debe de ser recíproca -la de verdad-, si no cual es el sentido.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Think...

Due to recent events, I have come to the conclusion that when it comes to some things, people don't really consider the after effects or collaterals of their choices when it comes to others, at least not until it's too late and fixing is next to impossible.

As we were growing up, something my father always insisted on teaching me and my siblings -specially when it came to me, I was very hard headed when it came to social protocols- , was to always think of the consequences of anything we'd decide on doing at any given time, or else we'd have no ground to complain if anything our friends did affected us directly or indirectly negatively.

Second life as a social platform and simulator, gives individuals many tools and resources to learn how to socialize properly, compensate for that which they are lacking in RL -something some ABUSE at times-, explore creative areas that have been negated to you outside the grid or let loose on some intense sexual fantasy or kink you may have and would be an impossibility for a number of reasons; I think however, that the main problem here is that a certain percentage of the total number of active and not so active users don't take second life too seriously... after all is only a game right?

Social networks, as previously discussed are based on fun, first and foremost; people log in to get away from their real life issues seeking refuge on social platforms, this being second life, Facebook or any other, but fun surely doesn't give anyone license to put anyone's happiness or well being at stake if that is what it takes, specially when it comes to close friends.

Friendship, relationships or partnerships, this being in real life, a social platform or even second life is like solving a math equation, you have to put some thought into it to get the right result.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls


A causa de eventos recientes, he llegado a la conclusión de que cuando se refiere a algunas cosas, algunas personas no se detienen a pensar en los efectos posteriores ó colaterales que sus acciones tendrán en otros, al menos no hasta que es muy tarde y arreglar las cosas es casi imposible.


Según ibamos creciendo, algo en lo que mi padre insistía en inculcar a mí y a mis hermanos -especialmente a mí, siempre fuí un poco cabeza dura cuando se trataba de protocolos sociales-, era de siempre pensar en las consecuencias de cualquier cosa que decidieramos hacer en cualquier momento, ó de lo contrario no tendríamos base para quejarnos de nada que nuestros amigos hicieran y que nos afectara de manera negativa, ya fuese directa ó indirectamente.

El second life como plataforma social y simulador, da a las personas muchas herramientas y recursos para aprender a socializar de manera adecuada, compensar aquello que les falta en la vida real -algo que algunos ABUSAN a veces-, explorar areas creativas que han sido negadas ó están fuera de tu alcance, ó dar rienda suelta a algún fetiche sexual que bajo circunstancias normales es imposible de realizar; yo creo sin embargo, que el problema principal es que muchos usuarios no se toman el second life demasiado en serio, después de todo ¿es sólo un juego no?

Las plataformas sociales, como lo discutimos previamente están basadas en el concepto de la diversión, primero que nada; las personas se conectan para desconectar de la realidad buscando refugio en las plataformas sociales, ya sea esta el second life, Facebook o cualquier otra, pero la diversión no le dá a nadie licencia o permiso de sacrificar el bienestar ó felicidad de nadie, si es esto lo que hace falta para conseguirlo, especialmente cuando se trata de amigos cercanos.

La Amistad, las relaciones ó incluso las parejas, ya sea esta la vida real, una plataforma social ó incluso el second life es cómo resolver una ecuación matemática, tienes que ponerle algo de cabeza y pensar, para obtener el resultado adecuado.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

The Power of Goodbye (2)

Life is in constant change and it influences second life more strongly that most of us care to publicly admit, but one bad choice, a small bump in the road and it can mean kissing your idyllic avatar and second life goodbye.

Finding the right balance between second life and real life can be complex but it's not impossible, same goes for knowing who to trust and who to question inside a platform where half of your choices are based on the information you are exposed to and blind faith, after all anyone can be whomever they want with the simple gesture of opening a new account and getting a fresh start, or in some cases grief a person they are not particularly fond of.

What happens and how do you adjust when real life gets in the way and starts taking away things or people you loved inside the simulator? how do you draw the line that most people pretend to draw to keep real life and second life separate? The more time I spend in second life, the more I realize that the so called line does not exist -there is a person behind the avatar and that person is a real one-, both our second lives and real lives do influence each other, even if we make every possible effort so they don't.

I am not personally fond of saying goodbye to friends and family, even if the goodbye is a mere see you soon. A goodbye gesture, this being a hug, a kiss or handshake is final, it marks the end of something, even if the new that's about to come is even better, at the time when you're saying your goodbyes you don't know better and I want to carry on living thinking that the only thing permanent in life is death... and that is a permanent situation that does require the power of goodbye.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls


La vida está siempre en un cambio constante e influencia a nuestro second life más de lo que nos atrevemos a admitir, pero una mala elección, un pequeño bache en el camino y puede significar el adiós de tu vida idilica y de tu avatar en la plataforma.

Encontrar el balance entre ambas vidas puede resultar complejo pero no es imposible, lo mismo se aplica en quién confiar en una plataforma donde la mitad de tus elecciones están basadas en la información a la que eres expuesto y la fé ciega, después de todo cualquiera puede ser quien quiera en culaquier momento, con el simple gesto de abrir una cuenta nueva y comenzar de cero, ó incluso en algunos casos acosar a alguna persona a la que no le tienes mucho aprecio.

¿Qué ocurre y cómo te ajustas cuando la vida se pone en medio y empieza a quitarte cosas ó personas a las que amabas en el simulador? ¿Cómo dibujas la línea que separa al avatar de la persona real? Mientras más tiempo paso en el second life, más me doy cuenta de que esta linea que algunos pretenden dibujar, en realidad no existe -hay una persona detrás del avatar y esta es real- ambas vidas influencian la una a la otra, incluso si hacemos un esfuerzo sobre humano para que esto no ocurra.

No soy e los que se encuentran particularmente cómodos con las despedidas, ya que decir adiós, incluso si este significa un hasta pronto, con un besoi, un abrazo ó un simple estrechón de manos marca un final, da igual si esto cierra una etapa y da paso a algo mejor, en el momento de la despedida, no sabes que exista nada mejor y quiero seguir pensando que lo unico permanente y merecedor de el poder del adiós, es la muerte... ese el el poder de una despedida

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GO AWAY!!!!

Sometimes, people you have trusted and have given all you had and more because you considered them practically family, will feel that life is taking them in a different direction that does not include you.

I have always prided myself of respecting everybody's choices, after all, my family or my friendship is not a prison, and people are free to come and go as they please, the key in life after all is knowing which bridges you have to burn and which to keep.

One thing I will never understand is when people make every possible effort to burn a bridge good -for whatever the reason-, some in a very dramatic and flashy way, but then at some point have a change of heart and decide to hover over the life they wanted to get out so badly, making an occasional appearance every now and then.

Make up your mind already, you wanted me and my family out of your life so badly? go away and stay away. We all have moved on and burnt bridges are supposed to be burned, I was not the one holding the matches, it was you, stick to your choices... I can respect that; forgive and forget is good and valid, but some bonds are like crystal, once broken it can't be mended, you'll always see the cracks.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls


A veces las personas en las que has confiado y has dado todo lo que tenías y más, porque los considerabas parte de tu familia, sentirán que sus vidas están tomando un rumbo distinto a la tuya, y este camino no te incluye.


Siempre me he enorgullecido de ser capaz de respetar las decisiones de todas las personas, después de todo, mi familia y mi vida e incluso mi amistad no son una prisión, y la gente es libre de ir y venir como les plazca, el secreto en la vida está basicamente es saber que puentes quemar, y cuales mantener.

Algo que nunca lograré entender sin embargo, es cuando las personas hacen todo esfuerzo necesario para quemar un puente de manera permanente -por cualquiera que sea la razón-, algunos de la forma más dramatica y pública posible, pero en algún punto cambian de idea y deciden merodear por tus alrededores, en una vida que no querían para empezar, haciendo la aparición ocasional de vez en cuando.

Decidete de una vez, si querias alejarte de mi y de mi familia con tantas ganas, no termino de entender el proposito de tus visitas, asi que mantente lejos. Todos hemos seguido adelante con nuestras vidas y los puentes que se queman se supone que se deben quedar así, no era yo el que sostenía las cerillas, eras tú asi que mantente fiel a tus decisiones... eso lo puedo respetar; perdonar y olvidar es bueno y valido, pero la amistad es como el cristal, una vez roto no puede ser reparado, siempre verás por donde se quebró.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Kiss the stars

There are times in your life when you need to slow down a bit, even for a few days and stop to smell the roses or like my son Skylar says, enjoy the scenery. If you have had the chance to meet me in-world -this is the term used when you are inside the second life platform-, you'll know for a fact that I am not the slow down type; I am continuously doing something -sometimes several things at once-, I am what you would call "driven".

This weekend however, my best friend suggested we'd get away go "rural", shedding all responsibilities and just disconnecting from all modern technology -within reason I still got my laptop with me, one can only make so many compromises-, before my workload got heavier again. After a few days of sorting loose ends here and there, I felt I was ready to just go for it and take some time off for myself.

It felt a bit strange at first, once we arrived and found ourselves in a house in the middle of nowhere with unpacking, making dinner and television to keep us occupied, but I got to experience something that a city boy like myself had long forgotten, I looked at the sky and marvelled at how many stars I could see in plain view -I truly can't remember when it was the last time I was able to simply do this, look up and see stars-. It may seem like something simple, but this fact alone proved to me that tagging along for this little break from my regular routine had been a good idea.

Sometimes, once in a while is good to just take things slow, focus on yourself and if you find yourself in the right situation to just look up, and kiss the stars.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Hay veces en tu vida cuando es necesario frenar un poco, aunque sea por un par de días y parar a oler las rosas, o como dice mi hijo Skylar, disfrutar del paisaje. Si has tenido la oportunidad de verme en -in-world - este es el término utilizado cuando se está dentro del de Second Life sabrás a ciencia cierta que no soy el tipo de ir despacio, yo estoy continuamente haciendo algo - a veces varias cosas a la vez-, yo soy lo que ustedes llamarían "motivado"".

Este fin de semana sin embargo, mi mejor amiga me sugirió que nos escaparamos el fin de semana a un sitio "rural", desprendiéndonos de todas las responsabilidades y simplemente desconectar de todas las tecnologías modernas -dentro de lo razonable que todavía tengo mi portátil conmigo, uno sólo puede hacer un número de sacrificios-, preferiblemente muchos antes de mi carga de trabajoacelerara de nuevo. Después de unos días de ordenar los cabos sueltos aquí y allá, sentí que estaba listo para ir solo por ello y tomarme un tiempo libre para mí.

Me sentía un poco extraño al principio, una vez que llegamos y nos encontramos enuna casa en medio de la nada con las maletas, haciendo la cena y la televisión para mantenernos ocupados, llegué a experimentar algo que un chico de ciudad como yo había olvidado, miré al cielo y me maravilé de cuántas estrellas veía a plena vista-que realmente no recuerdo cuando fue la última vez que fuí capaz de hacer esto, simplemente, mirar hacia arriba y ver las estrellas. Puede parecer algo simple, peroeste solo hecho me demostró que apuntarme a este pequeño descanso de mi rutina habitual, había sido una buena idea.

A veces, de vez en cuando es bueno tomarse sólo las cosas con calma,concentrarse en sí mismo y si te encuentras en la situación correcta de sólo mirarpara arriba, y besar las estrellas.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

TRUE COLORS...

No I'm not feeling patriotic or nostalgic about the 80s or Cindy Lauper, just had one of those days of speedy learning when referred to friendship, personal agendas and looking after your own interests while losing people that were close to you and who shared their time, family and free time to see you off to a good start, just for the benefit of being considered a good friend.


"All is fair in love and war" first said by John Lyly's 'Euphues' (1578), who simply mentioned in one of his theater plays that the moral rules applied to life did not, in these two situations and all you did was valid -means to an end, simply put- but is it really valid when it comes to friendship? Isn't it friend love ALSO a type of love?


Guess to some people friendship is merely functional -means to an end, read above-, no I don't mean to sound bitter, but even in virtual platforms such as second life, I find it incredible that you manage to see some people's true colors, when the possibilities of pretending to be anyone for long periods of time would prevent from showing -in theory-


My father always said that nothing stays secret in life for too long, so I guess he was right.


https://www.facebook.com/spikecls



No, no me estoy sintiendo patriotico ó nostalgico por los años ochenta ni Cindy Lauper, simplemente he tenido uno de esos días en lo que he recibido un entrenamiento avanzado en lo que se refiere a la amistad, las agendas personales y el busar servir tus propios intereses, mientras pierdes a personas que te eran fieles, que compartieron su tiempo, familia y tiempo libre para que tuvieras un buen comienzo durante una situación que te resultaba complicada, sólo por el beneficio de ser considerado un buen amigo.


"En el amor y en la guerra todo se vale" dicho por primera vez por John Lyly's "Euphues" (1578), el cual mencionó que las reglas morales de el día a día no son aplicadas en estas dos situaciones y todo lo que hacias para conseguir tu meta era lícito -el fín justifica los medios, para explicarlo de manera más simple-, pero ¿realmente es valido cuando se trata de la amistad? ¿no es esta TAMBIEN un tipo de amor?


Supongo que para algunas personas la amistad es meramente funcional -medios para un fin, leer arriba-, no es mi intención sonar ácido, pero me parece sorprendente como en plataformas como lo son el second life, donde las posibilidades de ser cualquier persona por largos períodos de tiempo son infinitas, y que por lógica prevendría de que tu naturaleza verdadera fuese mostrada -en teoría-


My padre siempre decía que nada permanece oculto por mucho tiempo, y supongo que tenía razón.


https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Kiss and make up

Sometimes in life you are faced with choices, choosing is never easy and most of the time you want to believe that your choice has been the right one even if people you care about get hurt in the process; life sadly is full of choices on our constant pursuit of happiness.

In a virtual platform such as second life -I like to call it a simulator, because quite frankly it has never "felt" like a game to me- the people you surround with on a daily basis are what you would call your family, those you trust and look after their well being and they reciprocate; what makes it a whole lot different is that this family you pick -sometimes life puts you all together by a sequence of random happenings, much like happened with my parenting... it found me-

I have faced many hard decisions when it comes to my second life in 2011, but there was one that almost cost me a person who has been around me from the very first day, through thick and thin. Sometimes we like to pretend some things don't influence us and we can always move on unaffected  -or at least in my particular case-, but the fact is that pride is the enemy of will. Pride gets in the way of progress and healing.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life overlooking things or ignoring people that matter because I am too proud or sure of my choices, 80% of the time the best possible way to go about things is to kiss and make up.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls


A veces en la vida tiener que hacer frente a ciertas elecciones, y escoger nunca es fácil y la mayoría de las veces quieres creer que tus elecciones han sido las correctas, incluso si al hacerlo, has causado daño ó dolor a aquellos a los que quieres; la vida tristemente está llena de estos momentos, en nuestra constante busqueda de la felicidad.

En una plataforma virtual como es el second life -siempre he querido considerarlo un simulador, porque francamente nunca se ha "sentido" como un juego desde mi perspectiva- la gente de la cual te rodeas a diario se convierte en tu familia, aquellos en los que confías y por cuyo bienestar velas y que también actuan de forma recíproca; lo que lo hace completamente distinto es que ha esta familia la escoges -a veces la vida pone en frente de tí estas elecciones, como me pasó a mi con la paternidad... me encontró-

Me he encontrado con elecciones difíciles cuando ha estado relacionado con mi second life durante el 2011, pero hay una persona que ha estado conmigo desde el principio, en lo bueno y en lo malo. A veces nos gusta fingir que hay cosas que no nos afectan -o al menos en my caso particular-, pero el hecho está en que el orgullo es el enemigo de la voluntad. El orgullo se interpone siempre en el camino del progreso y la sanación.

No quiero pasarme el resto de my vida ignorando cosas ó personas que realmente importan porque soy muy orgulloso ó seguro de mis elecciones, el 80% de las veces lo mejor es darse un beso y hacer las paces.


https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Will & Grace: the other "GAY marriage"

Of all the possible relationship combinations that exist in life, one that was recently popularized by a TV show and which happens more often than people would imagine is the somewhat dysfunctional Will & Grace relationship combo.

He's gay, cute, successful & single and so is she, they have been friends forever and even move in together at some point; they are for all intends and purposes a couple.
Are faghag / gay unions factual and possible in the long run? Does this bond fade when one of them finds happiness on a meaningful relationship that includes sex? It should not be the case if Love is true & the friendship strong -i.e. One is not using the other to compensate for having a crappy love life, until mr. Right comes along-

One of the things I've learned in life and which makes me frown when sectors strongly opposse gay unions is that happiness, families and bonds are like balloons... Come in all shapes and sizes but the final use is still the same

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Epiphany

BAM! One day just like that it dawns on you. That person that was just a friend becomes something more, you start noticing things that were there all along right in front of your nose, but for some reason could not see.

Apparently you are the last one to see it too, and that epiphany you are experiencing was a rather obvious fact to everyone around you. So what prevents you from being aware of happiness when it's staring you in the face? is it the refusal of leaving a comfortable situation that has worked well so far? A subconscious fear to change?, I mean all of the ingredients are there but they just didn't add up in your head up until that point.

Let's be reminded that comfort may safe, but also the kiss of death for relationships or friendships, settling for safe is not always the best choice, specially if something amazing awaits for you and you just refuse to take the leap for a number of reasons.

Ralph W Sockman did say once "To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."


https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

PUT THE BLAME ON MAme...

Scapegoats have always been a necessary evil since the beginning of times. Adam blamed Eve, the French Marie Antoinette (who in my honest opinion just had crappy PR and was hated from the beginning) and there a numerous examples of wrongfully projected hate over the years over the wrong individual.

Gilda was the sexy minx who got between two good friends to end up in the arms of the man she shouldn’t have left to begin with, so naturally, the blame was also put on her. When bad things happen to people, they have the natural impulse of looking around, looking for someone to put the blame for all the evils in their lives and most of the time, it happens to be the most public, obvious choice.

SL is no different, communities usually revolve around a few symbolic public figures that people lean on, rely and trust and if it comes to it, put the blame on; same goes with friendships. How many times have any of us during the course of our second lives have lost friends for the dumbest of reasons? people friend and de-friend each other with the most disturbing ease and someone always gets blamed -never mind the past or the good moments we spent together, it’s all about proving I’m right and you’re wrong-, it’s all about blaming someone anyhow.

Let’s be reminded though that during a conflict, each person is partially to blame, everyone adds something to the drama equation, is all part of that we call human interaction; so getting on a moral high horse and pointing fingers is hardly productive or functional -just gives you that fake feeling of righteousness-

What drives people to irrational hate? to put the blame on close friends for all the evils in their lives? I was discussing this with a friend recently and in second life, this phenomena has a name “projected hate” i.e. you’re doing better than me, your hair is prettier, your friends are cooler and so on, ergo all that is going wrong on my side of the game must and should be your fault.

I am not saying that I am perfectly innocent of the drama that splashes my second life on occasion , hence bringing colour and depth to the whole experience, but I get this feeling that sometimes is gratuitous and fuelled by what I just mentioned above. I really don’t mind, Andre Gide a french Novelist said “It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not”

I’ll just go on doing my thing, minding my own business, trying to have fun around my loved ones and those who don’t like it… in Gilda’s famous words can, “put the blame on maME”

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls