Choice

We are always presented with choices, everyday, each moment that passes and every decision we make, causes a slight turn in the path we follow making of this road we call life a winding one full of small possibilities that might change things for better or for worse.

I've always seen making a choice as diving into the sea or a lake, sometimes you are able to see the water you are plunging into, others you take a leap of faith or rely on hearsay to do it but in the end it is you the one who jumps into unknown waters.

Choosing and hence moving forward has always been driven by our need to seek and welcome change; you would think that with the many ups and downs and ongoing changes my life has always been through, I'd be one to happily welcome it, but my steady footing should never be confused with seeking change, in fact I am far from comfortable with it, but when I see that a situation around me has nothing else to offer me, I am more than happy to move onto better things, even if it means adventuring onto the unknown.

I chose 4 years ago to join SL and see what it had to offer, I and no other decided to move to the UK looking for better things, away from everything I knew as familiar and safe. I've chosen my friends and family in SL carefully and to this day, whenever it has been reciprocal, I have always welcomed anyone who has gone and come back with open arms, because that is what family is for after all, specially the one in SL which unlike in life, you choose.

If you are willing and able to take me into your life and make me a part of it, do it with everything I have to offer or don't do it at all, I am responsible for my own choices, past and future because when the time comes for me to move forward and take the plunge, I will do so with a steady pace and not even bat an eye.

It should be about that time when we all take responsibilities for things we do to ourselves and other people, instead of trying to hold others accountable for our own choices, that's like having an orgasm and then turning around and blaming the person next to you for it, no one forced you to strip and go through with it after all.

I make my own choices, I am responsible for my own actions and I will answer for them, eventually.

Happy Easter

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Fight!

The spirit of human nature, that which defines us as a superior race is the one of fighting our way through obstacles in our constant pursuit of happiness, or at least our idea of perfect happiness. Some crave power, others peace and quiet, some want a big family, other don't want children at all, happiness is like rainbows, it's slightly different for each person but it is yet the same in concept, but the thing that does not vary is the fighting spirit that makes us get up in the morning and continue trying, even when things get tough.

This is no different when it comes to SL, most people log in for fun, others because they have venues they may have invested money on and provides them with an extra source of income -this making of SL a side business of sorts-, but most of us simply log in and insist on doing so even when things get tough at times, because our second lives and everything that involves them represent that ideal world and persona we cannot be in real life for a number of reasons, so it being user created, we can shape our second lives and the path they take to our liking.

But isn't this also true when it comes to our real lives? aren't we also in the possibility of changing things around us if we don't like what we have? -new house, new country, new job, new husband...-, by simple concept it'd be easily pointed out that yes, we can produce change in our lives, it just happens to be easier in second life -or so it seems, this not being always the case-

What brought on this ranting?, my past week has been an interesting one, besides going through some major changes in real life, I have been the direct and indirect target of either drama aimed at me by other or either collaterally produced by actions I simply brought upon myself on a rather ironic yet functional cause and effect.

This has made me wonder and given me perspective on things we fight for every day; how do we tell apart those things that are worth going the extra mile and fighting for, from those that will simply bring pain and suffering to you and others in the process? What little I am lucky to have in RL and SL, I have fought for -it wasn't handed to me, no one wrapped it up with a bow on top and told me to go have fun- and these things I have fought for and keep fighting for ultimately fulfill that perfect idea of happiness I have for me and my loved ones.

And as previously stated on one of my Facebook statuses, I will not engage or entertain anyone's drama, if it doesn't directly affect me -that's not my fight, that's your fight!- and if you want attention, don't come to me asking for it, go make a naked xtube video. I'll keep on carefully picking my own battles and trying to do right by those who do matter, which is simply what life is all about.

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Welcome back

There are moments in your life, when people you hold dear and close to your heart will part from your side for a number of reasons, but the most painful and hardest to cope with is when a friend leaves influenced by what other people say.

My eldest son is a firm believer of paths, he always says that people have a life path they follow and must discover on their own and if it takes them away from you for a while but eventually brings them back, is all good and what's past is water under the bridge.

I just went through just that today; due to a number of reasons I lost a good friend a number of months back and how things ended between us both confused me and caused me pain, because I knew he was being misled. I am not exactly a harmless little puppy, but when I am wrong I know I am wrong and try my best to fix it.

Then today I was approached by him again during one of my sets and after engaging a light hearted chat, we decided to work out our issues and put the past behind us; there are some people in your life that deserve a second chance and that the wrongs done to you lose the weight that caused the division. Whether it is Second Life or Real Life, no matter how much you try and hide the truth, it will always come afloat, even if it takes a long time.

Guess Skylar is right and that there are paths that will always lead back home.

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Serendipity

Serendipity means a "happy accident" or "pleasant surprise"; specifically, the accident of finding something good or useful without looking for it. We encounter situations such as this one, more often than we think, and give the difficulty to translate the word, it has been accepted by other languages as it is.; first coined by Horace Walpole on his Persian fairy tale "The Three Princes of Serendip" who throughout the tale, kept making accidental discoveries.


In the movie named after this word, the protagonists decide to rely on happy accidents to dictate the course of their future relationship-to-be, to make a point that maybe fate, destiny or life -even a higher power- wants them together.


Some people believe in destiny and fate, that life has a plan for us and that these random moments of serendipity guide us to the point where we are supposed to be; one of my co-workers in Gayworldsnews, personal friend and one I am happy to call part of my second life family, stumbled upon this candy heart by a mere act of serendipity, he had been munching on candy hearts without stopping to read the messages, and the one heart he stopped to read, was one with the letters FAB on it; it immediately dawned on him as a message from beyond from our dear Fabrice Snook, founder and owner of GWNs, whose dream and legacy we all have promised to carry on, a small reminder that we may headed in the right direction and that his legacy will live on.


Personally, I don't believe in destiny or fate, but I have to admit that there have been times, specially during my second life where I have faced random moments of serendipity which have brought me a lot of joy and have taken me to the point where I am now -specially with my son Skylar, an act of total serendipity-, so maybe Horace Walpole was right, and life is nothing but a complex net of serendipitous acts.


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Serendipity significa "accidente feliz" ó "agradable sorpresa"; específicamente, el encontrar algo útil o bueno de forma accidental. Nos enfrentamos a situaciones como esta, más a menudo de lo que nos imaginamos, y dado lo dificil de traducir la palabra, esta ha sido trasladada y aceptada por otros idiomas; creada originalmente por Horace Walpole en su cuento de hadas Persa "los tres principes de Serendip" los cuales durante la historia, se encontraban con estos accidentes felices.


En la película del mismo nombre, los protagonistas deciden de confiar en estos accidentes felices para dictar el curso de su fitura relación, para probar que el destino, o la vida -incluso un poder superior- los quiere juntos.


Algunas personas creen que en el destino, que la vida tiene un plan para nosotros y que estos momentos al azar nos guían a ese punto en el que se supone debemos estar; unos de mi compañeros en Gayworldsnews, amigo personla y uno de los que me enorgullece llamar parte de mi familia en el second life, se encontro de manera accidental con este corazon de caramelo por un simple acto de serendipity, ya que había estado comiendolos de la caja sin prestarle atención a los mensajes que ponían y justo aquel que da la vuelta para leer, leía "FAB", lo que el mismo interpretó como un mensaje del mismo Fabrice Snook, fundador de GWN, cuyo sueño y legado nos hemos prometido mantener con vida.


Yo no creo en el destino, pero he de admitir que han habido momentos, especialmente aquellos en mi second life en los que me he encontrado con momentos de serendipity los que me han traido gran felicidad y me han llevado al punto en el que estoy ahora -especialmente con my hijo Skylar, un acto de total serendipity-, así que a lo mejor Horace Walpole estaba en lo correcto, y la vida sólo es un entretejido de actos complejos de serendipity.



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GO AWAY!!!!

Sometimes, people you have trusted and have given all you had and more because you considered them practically family, will feel that life is taking them in a different direction that does not include you.

I have always prided myself of respecting everybody's choices, after all, my family or my friendship is not a prison, and people are free to come and go as they please, the key in life after all is knowing which bridges you have to burn and which to keep.

One thing I will never understand is when people make every possible effort to burn a bridge good -for whatever the reason-, some in a very dramatic and flashy way, but then at some point have a change of heart and decide to hover over the life they wanted to get out so badly, making an occasional appearance every now and then.

Make up your mind already, you wanted me and my family out of your life so badly? go away and stay away. We all have moved on and burnt bridges are supposed to be burned, I was not the one holding the matches, it was you, stick to your choices... I can respect that; forgive and forget is good and valid, but some bonds are like crystal, once broken it can't be mended, you'll always see the cracks.

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A veces las personas en las que has confiado y has dado todo lo que tenías y más, porque los considerabas parte de tu familia, sentirán que sus vidas están tomando un rumbo distinto a la tuya, y este camino no te incluye.


Siempre me he enorgullecido de ser capaz de respetar las decisiones de todas las personas, después de todo, mi familia y mi vida e incluso mi amistad no son una prisión, y la gente es libre de ir y venir como les plazca, el secreto en la vida está basicamente es saber que puentes quemar, y cuales mantener.

Algo que nunca lograré entender sin embargo, es cuando las personas hacen todo esfuerzo necesario para quemar un puente de manera permanente -por cualquiera que sea la razón-, algunos de la forma más dramatica y pública posible, pero en algún punto cambian de idea y deciden merodear por tus alrededores, en una vida que no querían para empezar, haciendo la aparición ocasional de vez en cuando.

Decidete de una vez, si querias alejarte de mi y de mi familia con tantas ganas, no termino de entender el proposito de tus visitas, asi que mantente lejos. Todos hemos seguido adelante con nuestras vidas y los puentes que se queman se supone que se deben quedar así, no era yo el que sostenía las cerillas, eras tú asi que mantente fiel a tus decisiones... eso lo puedo respetar; perdonar y olvidar es bueno y valido, pero la amistad es como el cristal, una vez roto no puede ser reparado, siempre verás por donde se quebró.

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Where's my apple?

It being cheese, an apple or anything symbolic that we are used to having on a day to day basis, what happens when life takes your apples away? How do you cope with the sudden loss and move on? Do you find a substitute and move on or try and go without apples until the drought is over?

Life is about constant change, something I seem to be covering, experiencing and discussing a lot often recently, but it doesn't stop being true; how you deal with change and try to adjust to it, is where -in my opinion- true happiness lies. Change is not always positive however, or at least it may not seem like it, but it always leads to something better.

When we experience a loss during changing times we go through a series of stages: denial, panic, sorrow and acceptance; it all is normal and valid and how quickly we experience each varies from person to person. Personally I never linger much on panic as I deem it ineffectual and without purpose, so if you can skip it, even better.

Finding a substitute for your missing apples is like nicotine patches, may seem good on principle but sometimes it's preferable to adjust to change and learn to do without them. Remember Winston Churchill once said "There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction”


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Ya sea queso, una manzana ó cualquier cosa simbólica que acostumbramos tener en nuestro día a día, ¿qué ocurre cuando la vida te quita todas tus manzanas? ¿Cómo te enfrentas a la repentina perdida y sigues adelante con tú vida? ¿Encuentras a un substituto para tus manzanas ó aprendes a vivir sin ellas hasta que se acabe la escasez?

La vida es un cambio constante, algo que parece últimamente suelo cubrir, experimentar y discutir bastante a menudo, pero no deja de ser cierto; cómo te enfrentas a el cambio e intentas ajustarte a él, es dónde -en mi opinión- yace la verdadera felicidad. El cambio no es siempre positivo, ó puede no parecerlo, pero siempre lleva a algo mejor.

Cuando experimentamos una pérdida durante tiempos de cambio pasamos por una serie de niveles: nagación, pánico, pena y aceptación; es bastante normal y válido y cuánto nos pasamos en cada uno varía en cada persona. Personalmente yo nunca suelo pasarme demasiado tiempo entreteniendo el pánico, ya que lo encuentro poco efectivo y sin propósito real, así que si te lo puedes brincar, mejor que mejor.

Encontrar a un substituto para las manzanas que te faltan es como los parches de nicotina, parecen una buena opción en principio, pero siempre es preferible ajustarse al cambio aprendiendo a vivir sin ellos. Recuerda que Winston Churchill dijo una vez "No hay nada malo en el cambio, siempre que sea en la dirección correcta"

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Suck it up

There are moments in your life when something incredibly good stares you in the face, but comes like all good things, with a few conditions. There's no ultimate bliss or perfection in life, everything has flaws and a downside, coming to terms with those things that you may not entirely love in order to get that which you deem as perfect for you, that's where difficulty lies.

Where do you draw the line though? what bumps in the road are acceptable for you? Do you give some things more license in Second Life than in real life? Let us be reminded that virtual or not, sometimes second life can be even more real than life itself and just because it is not "flesh and blood" doesn't mean that some real life can't come and influence your second life, for the good or the bad.

But let us go back to the obstacles in the road, How do you draw the line on the things that to let slide and those that you find unacceptable? do you go by ethics or just follow your instincts? Is there a set of standards for second life and another completely different for real life?. My greatest reference when it comes to all of this is my Real Life best friend, who through me and my daily ramblings, has a clear and unbiased perception by now on how things work in both realities and how people do choose differently.

We are influenced by our surroundings and no matter how true and close to reality we want to be in second life, there are some choices we make that are unthinkable in real life. Our personality varies slightly, your story and that of your avatar are two different ones but staying true to yourself in the long pursuit for happiness, that's the tricky part, specially when faced with hard choices; sometimes all you got to do to get your hands on that yummy treat life is offering is suck it up...

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Hay momentos en tu vida en los que algo increíblemente bueno te mira a la cara, pero llega como todo lo bueno, con algunas condiciones. No hay felicidad definitiva o la perfección en la vida, todo tiene defectos y desventajas, llegar a un acuerdo con esas cosas que que no te gustan del todo el fin de obtener lo que consideras como perfecto para ti, es donde se encuentra la dificultad.

¿Dónde se traza la línea? ¿qué baches en el camino son aceptables ? ¿Le das a algunas de las cosas más licencia en Second Life que en la vida real? Vamos a recordar que virtual o no, a veces puede ser más real que la vida misma y sólo porque no es "de carne y hueso" no significa que algo de la vida real no pueda llegar a influir en tu Second Life para bien o mal.

Pero volvamos a los obstáculos en el camino, ¿Cómo se traza la línea en las cosas que dejas pasar y las que te parecen inaceptables? sigues tu ética o tus instintos? ¿Hay un conjunto de normas para Second Life y otra completamente diferente para la vida real?. Mi mayor referencia cuando se trata de todo esto es mi mejor amiga de la vida real, que a través de mí y de mis divagaciones diarias, tiene una percepción clara e imparcial a estas alturas de cómo funcionan las cosas en ambas realidades y cómo las personas eligen de manera diferente.

Estamos influenciados por nuestro entorno y no importa qué tan cierto y cercano a la realidad queremos ser en la vida de second life, hay algunas decisiones que tomamos que son impensables en la vida real. Nuestra personalidad varía un poco, tu historia y la de tu avatar son diferentes, pero mantenerse fiel a ti mismo en la búsqueda de la felicidad, esa es la parte difícil, especialmente cuando te enfrentas a decisiones difíciles, a veces todo lo que tienes que hacer para tener en tus manos ese dulce delicioso que la vida te ofrece es aguantarse y mamarla ...

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TRUE COLORS...

No I'm not feeling patriotic or nostalgic about the 80s or Cindy Lauper, just had one of those days of speedy learning when referred to friendship, personal agendas and looking after your own interests while losing people that were close to you and who shared their time, family and free time to see you off to a good start, just for the benefit of being considered a good friend.


"All is fair in love and war" first said by John Lyly's 'Euphues' (1578), who simply mentioned in one of his theater plays that the moral rules applied to life did not, in these two situations and all you did was valid -means to an end, simply put- but is it really valid when it comes to friendship? Isn't it friend love ALSO a type of love?


Guess to some people friendship is merely functional -means to an end, read above-, no I don't mean to sound bitter, but even in virtual platforms such as second life, I find it incredible that you manage to see some people's true colors, when the possibilities of pretending to be anyone for long periods of time would prevent from showing -in theory-


My father always said that nothing stays secret in life for too long, so I guess he was right.


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No, no me estoy sintiendo patriotico ó nostalgico por los años ochenta ni Cindy Lauper, simplemente he tenido uno de esos días en lo que he recibido un entrenamiento avanzado en lo que se refiere a la amistad, las agendas personales y el busar servir tus propios intereses, mientras pierdes a personas que te eran fieles, que compartieron su tiempo, familia y tiempo libre para que tuvieras un buen comienzo durante una situación que te resultaba complicada, sólo por el beneficio de ser considerado un buen amigo.


"En el amor y en la guerra todo se vale" dicho por primera vez por John Lyly's "Euphues" (1578), el cual mencionó que las reglas morales de el día a día no son aplicadas en estas dos situaciones y todo lo que hacias para conseguir tu meta era lícito -el fín justifica los medios, para explicarlo de manera más simple-, pero ¿realmente es valido cuando se trata de la amistad? ¿no es esta TAMBIEN un tipo de amor?


Supongo que para algunas personas la amistad es meramente funcional -medios para un fin, leer arriba-, no es mi intención sonar ácido, pero me parece sorprendente como en plataformas como lo son el second life, donde las posibilidades de ser cualquier persona por largos períodos de tiempo son infinitas, y que por lógica prevendría de que tu naturaleza verdadera fuese mostrada -en teoría-


My padre siempre decía que nada permanece oculto por mucho tiempo, y supongo que tenía razón.


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