Le Femboy Ralphie

Femboys have always had a somewhat tumultuous and almost non-existent presence in the LGTB community, with little if any places to gather as a community and usually banned from most clubs or public places where most gather, usually bearing the stigma of age-play; so taking advantage of my recent prolific inspirational phase, I decided today to write a long promised article to my friend Ralphie, about femboys.

The femboy term is generally used to describe teens who dress like girls and are mostly gay, but surprisingly enough also includes some straight boys who enjoy the androgynous look; one question I have constantly asked myself when it comes to them is, why not go and make the switch to a full on female? why decide to be somewhere in the middle? specially knowing that it is so hard for femboys in SL.

Apparently becoming a femboy is a slow progression and you finally get there, with the full knowledge that it is who you are, like nekos identify as such or furries, or bears and so on. Femboys love girl clothes, the feel comfortable feeling cute and girly, but don't like being identified as girls because simply put, they are not girls. Femboys get most of their inspiration from Asians, Yaoi, Manga and borrow from the culture, being literally outsourced from it -and most are heavy Jpop or Kpop lovers-

There are a few projects coming and focused to the femboy community, but as far as right now, nothing -apart from Twinktown, which is basically aimed at cruising- exists for them to gather and grow as a community. If you are curious or need extra info about this community, on how to become one or where to get you started Femboy Hunt, or Ralphie's 2nd life Fashion show are good places to get you started, including useful links and general information about its presence in SL.

If I must be frank, I have never made a difference when it comes to people and communities in SL, I always relate to the person behind the avi and I have never managed to wrap my head around the witch hunt that the gay community has towards those who are shorter than average -but then again I already wrote about that, quick flashback here-. You are who you are and in SL of all places, you are who you choose to be, I have met real monsters that looked "normal" and have made the strongest friendships with people who did not fit a canon.

This article is dedicated to all of you, the Ralphies, The Cappys and the many others out there, who stand firm on what they believe and who they have decided to be, Kudos to you, like Lady Monster once said -and this coming from a woman who has worn meat- "put your paws up, because you were born this way"

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Perspective

Reading a few posts from family and friends who have decided recently to follow in on the wonderful adventure which is blogging, I got slightly inspired by making a detailed yet entertaining -if possible- account of my SL story and how Spike came to be the avatar / person he is nowadays.

I opened my account after updating my PC following my RL birthday, I had heard all sorts of things about SL and since I had always been an avid online gamer, decided to give this one a shot. I did do some research on it first to really know what I was getting my hands on, despite the fact that I had dabbled with virtual worlds way back in 2001 and onwards on other grids.

The first few days I invested my time in what most gay noobs do when exploring SL, lots and lots of sex, until that eventually got old and I stopped using the account for a few days, seeing that apart from sex, no one ever offered me the help and guidance I was seeking to maximize my experience whilst in SL; when I decided to log back and give the whole thing another go, is when I met what would become many things for me, my teacher, my liege, my lover and soon to follow my husband, Corbin.

As the many men that had the pleasure or misfortune to bump into him, I was very unaware of the past and baggage he was carrying, but none of that mattered to me at the time, he was offering me exactly what I needed and was seeking, purpose, guidance, a group of friends and family -Yu among them- I still keep around, and very inadvertently he turned me into a hunting weapon that he would soon use to revitalize our limping vampire community.

I was fascinated by the whole bloodlines concept, I did love hunting and I prided myself to be really good at it, I knew what to say and when to say it in order to convince anyone to join us and it was not all that bad, I did meet many great friends that way and was even given 3 precious gifts a father can have, my sons. I often look back and ponder on my options when I decided to join our family and my only regret would be not having explored life as a "human" on the platform, as I do sometimes feel I missed out on many experiences.

Eventually things went south with Corbin, when my bond with Yu became so strong that no person could break and he saw this as a threat for his power stance and our "marriage", but that's a tale for another post. What are the things you didn't get to do while you were a noob in SL and wish you could go back to?

Perspective, usually gained by looking back before making your path ahead.

Thanks to Ellie for providing the inspiration to write this piece: http://elliecfrose.blogspot.co.uk/

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The Invisible sizes

The second life simulator is built upon the premise that you can be who you want, when you want and wherever you want, the imagination being your only limit, but there are times and places where -much like n real life- some sectors and communities in second life face discrimination from the same group of people that fight day to day to try and get equal rights.

In the wide array of lifestyles that make second life, there is a growing community of people who some people call "twinks" -One of my good friends Sora, in the picture with me being on this group-. They suffer segregation and as consequence are forced to have their own clubs, their own sims and their own cruising places, just because someone way back decided that the height cannon for avatars in second life for adults should range around 7 to 8 feet.

So when someone decides to create the person they want to be in second life, and choose to stick to realistic real life height measures -this being from 5.7 to 6 feet tall-, they are instantly called "kids", accused of age play and asked to leave adult sims only accessible if you are age verified -Spurts and Hubs to name a few-, but where is the fine line between age play and someone just wanting to look "normal" according to human standards and simply refuse to lose their identity just because someone way back decided that 7 feet tall was the acceptable adult size for avatars?

When the person that is Spike in second life was born, I was assisted on height standards and shops to go to for the specific look I was going for, so being this tall is all I know, but sometime today I decided to experience what it felt like to be 6 feet tall in second life and what the reaction of people around me in popular gay places I frequent would be. We were both ignored, point blank; no one talked to us, approached us or even tried to discourage us from being around -this being mostly because management staff was not around, but that being the case I am sure we would have been asked to leave, as it has happened before-. I walked by a couple of "friends" at one of the sims and they simply pretended I was not even there.

I guess to be visible and respected in all sims, hence avoiding segregation, one must comply to certain height standards; a sad reality considering the LGTB community in RL and SL are the ones fighting day after day evils such as segregation, discrimination and other types of evils that are only fueled by ignorance and fear. So the gay community in SL that of the "tall people", is inflicting this very thing on a growing community of people.

I chose who I wanted to be, so did they; I'll wake up every morning and go to bed every night knowing I have done right by people, hence being an example to my two sons and my community, never falling on double standards that only work on my end. All sorts of people are always welcome to my club and sim, either if you are a twink, a furry, a neko, a fairy or just someone who thinks ugly is actually pretty, as long as you follow TOS and conduct yourself in a respectful manner while having fun.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls