Bullies

Our collective has always been the one -overall- which has been the most attacked, either mentally and physically and there are many out there, thousands of voices that cannot be silenced, which speak out and seek to educate and inform the younger generations about how wonderful it is to be diverse and different, and how these things which fall outside the norm is what makes us who we are.

But having taken this semi-forced online hiatus due to my RL move, has not only given me a chance to entertain long postponed leisure activities such as swimming or enjoying a nice book while bathed by a warm summer breeze -sounds amazing uh?-, it has also provided me time to think about topics such as this one.

Does bullying stop after highschool? Do we stop being victims or victimizing others at some point of our lives? As we approached adulthood it either seems to lose its importance or effect on us, but due to our human nature we will always be the victim or the bully at a given time or situation. But when we're adults bullying doesn't necessarily seem so, life is hard we simply add.

More so in secondlife and other social platforms, where people sometimes simply take advantage of the pseudonims and annonimity to profit from specific situations and/or people. I must admit I was -luckily- never the target or victim of bullies, I was too busy studying but I have faced situations in secondlife sadly, which have either hurt me or my loved ones by the hands of a bully who we trusted.

So before speaking out and voicing our discontent on the matter, let's reflect on our actions and see if things we've said or done ever hurt someone... Sometimes all it takes is some quiet reflection and the appropriate apology, some of our victims might not even be aware that they were. Preach by example as the old saying advices.

http://www.facebook.com/spikecls

The move (1)

Uprooting your life and moving can be sometimes and in most cases, something somewhat traumatic and stress producing, specially when you realize that your entire life can be fitted in 2 suitcases.

There's been only two ocassion during my adult life where I have had to go through this process, the difference lies that the last time I didn't have a second life to consider; so there were a whole lot of new things I had to take into consideration.

So as I am getting a nice tan and updating my life exploits in the blog, while trying to get minor updates from my loved ones in-world, I wonder about the path ahead of me.

I'll end today with a quote from my son Skylar -who I hope is on his best behavior- "Never worry about the path you left behind, but focus on the one you're making"

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

And yes... Those are my feet by the pool.

One Million Biggots

I am sitting here, looking at my screen trying to type the right words to get my idea across and I have to frankly admit I am, for the very first time in my life, beyond words. I truly don't know what got into these "one million moms" group, but if I must say so, their efforts have gone from being mildly amusing -seriously a group of not nearly 50 k trying to boycott Ellen DeGeneres and JC Penny, who have easily 10 times their numbers in supporters IS amusing- to point blank insulting.

Cancel Gay Superheroes immediately, says One million moms

So before I got my hands on writing this article, I decided to do some active and responsible research by reading up first on what they had to say and what points they had to make as "traditional" or to use a more appropriate term "conservative" families -as we all know that there is nothing traditional to families as a whole, they can be defined thankfully, in so many different ways-

So let's go over a few key points on what these people have to say -and don't try to look up their Facebook group, been there done that, it got obviously, removed-

A) "This is ridiculous! Why do adult gay men need comic superheroes as role models? They don't but do want to indoctrinate impressionable young minds by placing these gay characters on pedestals in a positive light" This is true, we don't need gay comic superheroes as role models, but comics are a reflection of society and culture and do so as a form of art; as for the indoctrinating part, if we had the need to do so -as to creating more homosexuals- we'd have Gay missionaries going door to door singing gay hymns and telling people on how marvelous it is to be gay and the wonders it does indeed to your life; on a second thought, aren't you CHRISTIANS, MORMONS and JEHOVA WITNESSES already doing that?


B) "As Christians, we know that homosexuality is a sin (Romans 1:26-27)" Since you are supporting your irrational hatred on a book, I'd advice you to carefully read up Leviticus' position on slavery, incest, among a huge number of other things I simply won't take the time to refute or list -do read up on Exodus as well, quite a few good things in there rewarding the heterosexual lifestyle which we already know can be, so colorful- and while you're doing that and basing your hatred on an "unflawed" book, do take the time to explain as well how is it that in one of the new testament books, there is only one angel announcing Jesus has risen while on the rest there's always two -and no I won't tell you which one, but it IS there-


Maybe, then maybe while taking the time on having some base on your irrational fear and hatred, you will learn to grow up already and let people live in peace -Canadians and Europeans have been doing this for quite a while now and no, the world hasn't ended and straight children are still straight and gay children are still gay-


Forty years from now, you will look back and be ashamed of yourselves for even trying to segregate love, once again. As a gay single parent, I will go to bed and wake up every morning with the clear conscience of having done right by my family and others around me, while doing this in love which is basically what Jesus preached.


https://www.facebook.com/spikecls 

The Single Hunk

Whether you are gay or straight, you most likely have been exposed to the variant of this very special breed of potential boyfriend at some point; he's drop dead gorgeous, knows exactly what to say, he's great in bed and becomes the instant best buddy of your close friends, he's just... perfect, but for some strange reason, he simply can't seem to be able to tie the knot, or seal the deal with anyone.

I was sitting here quietly pondering over my past month, and just realized that this guy I used to date briefly has been both engaged -and partnered- in a range shorter than two weeks to two different unsuspecting victims; this type of guy should come with a disclaimer of some sort, I mean they should at least announce it on their profile -"I am not marrying material guys! but I will play along for as long as I can"-

What makes these guys engage in this type of behavior that leaves all sorts of heartbreak collateral and drama on their wake? do they get off on the whole planning the wedding bit and then get cold feet at the very mention of "til death parts us"?, perhaps is the whole compromise part they simply cannot get a grasp of?

One went to the lengths once of trying to pin down on me the blame of us not working out -yes I do mean you dear-, while he was juggling several boyfriends -including his ex- as he made up his mind on where his pixelated self would settle.

My father always told me that being a man, and becoming one didn't involve growing hair in places where there wasn't any before, but justifying the presence of them  by acting like one.

So be careful of who you rush off to marry or partner in second life, you may be faced with this rare specimen without even knowing.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Focus...

Faith as a whole has always been something somewhat evasive to me, I won't go into specifics but ever since I was a little boy, blindly believing in things "just because" was something beyond my comprehension and something I simply, couldn't do -I have and still do hold the utmost respect for those who can believe tho-


SL as a social platform has enabled me for the past 2ish years to entertain a number of things that would have been far beyond my reach in RL, or that at least would have taken a lot longer to achieve; I have become a successful blogger -not to forget it's always been thanks to you readers out there-, a DeeJay, a designer and last but not least a proud single dad of two, them being by far my greatest treasure and something I give life thanks for every single morning.

Being faithless though, has always bothered me on some level; this is until I decided to explore and entertain Buddhism in SL recently. I am starting to understand what makes an individual proud of having a system of beliefs, something to identify oneself with and use as a canon for where you want your life to be headed; I am in the habit of doing some random meditation with my son Skylar whenever we both can spare the time, so after thinking about this long and hard, I decided to explore a bit and try to find a temple in SL that would fit well with my personality and schedule.

If you are one of them like me, feeling drawn to this and looking for the ability to focus and find inner peace while surrounded with like-minded individuals, here are a few places in-world I think you may find interesting

Sunshine Therapy Garden Buddhist Temple for contemplation, meditation and prayer. Enjoy moments of rest in a lovely garden setting. Listen to Tibetan monks chant or Mantra's.

Buddhist Temple, Aosagi This sim is themed as a region of Japan in the Edo period (1603-1868 AD). It is designed to support a number of cultural, educational and roleplay groups for the benefit of all.

Kannonji Zen Retreat - A Real Virtual Sangha, Snowlion Mountain My personal favorite and where you can find me joining group meditation each day at 1pm SLT. Practice meditation in a Buddhist setting and explore Korean Zen, Soto Zen, Sanbo Kyodan, Nicherin Buddhism, Tibetan Buddhism and much more. Check out our Buddha statues and enjoy the mountains sanctuary we call our spiritual home; nature. 

I am glad that second life has yet again -even though I do feel I have still a LOOOONG way to go-, helped fill that void that was missing in my life and that I am lucky enough to be able to share it with all of you out there.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Secondgay Celebrates a milestone

A few months back, Avacar Bluestar and myself felt that the project that had brought us together and made us friends and co-workers was not headed to the direction we were headed towards -or to be more specific where Fabrice Snook had initially envisioned-, this being GayWorldNews; so wishing both friends and non-friends which we left behind the best of luck, we decided to start a new dream and project, this being the Secondgay blog and its on-line magazine.

With the support of many in-world venues and long standing writer bases, such as presspass media and Rhino writers behind us, we were both optimistic about the future and where things were potentially headed and we were right; in just two short weeks of our first publication, we have reached the 500 reads mark.

To celebrate this, we will be throwing a party at Club Play -which Phinneas from Peer has very nicely agreed to let us use-, which Avacar will be DJing today from 5pm to 7pm SLT.

This is our way of thanking all readers, advertisers, friends and family alike, who have shown support and believed in our project from the start; it truly wouldn't have been possible without you, so this party is all about you guys.

Club Play Limo

Again, thank you.

Spike
https://www.facebook.com/spikecdesigns

Who do you think you are?

The Spice girls were the first to ask, S Club Seven asked it too, now it's the turn of the newest star in the block who has, with the song "who do u think u r" -namely Kaitlyn K- popularized by the Cypress Ranch High School Lip Dub project to ask this very question.

The message is clear, and these kids not only have made viral but possibly started a trend that will hopefully catch up among school all around the US or wherever the message these lyrics carry will be needed. Bullying is bad, any type of discrimination, no matter under what shape or form -or excuse for that matter- stop progress and affects many many lives.

I am a firm believer that bullying can be simply eradicated through education, starting at home and supported by the educational system at an early age, specially if it's anti-gay bullying -societies like the Dutch among others have taken the lead in properly educating their young for quite a few decades now, and the world has not ended-; despite the many arguments used by the many detractors of gay unions -or homosexuality as a whole- there is no solid fact used against our community to this day that will be able to stand on its own two feet of irrevocable logic -and if you go for the bible angle, there are many worse things in there the book itself is very permissive about, but don't take my word for it, read it thoroughly and see for yourself-.

The worst part is that I have been the witness in second life of hatred, discrimination and division -mostly fueled by ignorance, power trips or hatred- on the one minority that should not even entertain discrimination on the slightest shape or fashion -see here for a flashback, and before anyone jumps to my neck, one thing is obeying TOS and another different one is being "selective" about them.

Education and information, those are the keys people... since information is widely known to be the source of power.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Fight!

The spirit of human nature, that which defines us as a superior race is the one of fighting our way through obstacles in our constant pursuit of happiness, or at least our idea of perfect happiness. Some crave power, others peace and quiet, some want a big family, other don't want children at all, happiness is like rainbows, it's slightly different for each person but it is yet the same in concept, but the thing that does not vary is the fighting spirit that makes us get up in the morning and continue trying, even when things get tough.

This is no different when it comes to SL, most people log in for fun, others because they have venues they may have invested money on and provides them with an extra source of income -this making of SL a side business of sorts-, but most of us simply log in and insist on doing so even when things get tough at times, because our second lives and everything that involves them represent that ideal world and persona we cannot be in real life for a number of reasons, so it being user created, we can shape our second lives and the path they take to our liking.

But isn't this also true when it comes to our real lives? aren't we also in the possibility of changing things around us if we don't like what we have? -new house, new country, new job, new husband...-, by simple concept it'd be easily pointed out that yes, we can produce change in our lives, it just happens to be easier in second life -or so it seems, this not being always the case-

What brought on this ranting?, my past week has been an interesting one, besides going through some major changes in real life, I have been the direct and indirect target of either drama aimed at me by other or either collaterally produced by actions I simply brought upon myself on a rather ironic yet functional cause and effect.

This has made me wonder and given me perspective on things we fight for every day; how do we tell apart those things that are worth going the extra mile and fighting for, from those that will simply bring pain and suffering to you and others in the process? What little I am lucky to have in RL and SL, I have fought for -it wasn't handed to me, no one wrapped it up with a bow on top and told me to go have fun- and these things I have fought for and keep fighting for ultimately fulfill that perfect idea of happiness I have for me and my loved ones.

And as previously stated on one of my Facebook statuses, I will not engage or entertain anyone's drama, if it doesn't directly affect me -that's not my fight, that's your fight!- and if you want attention, don't come to me asking for it, go make a naked xtube video. I'll keep on carefully picking my own battles and trying to do right by those who do matter, which is simply what life is all about.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Love is a two-way street

It being RL or SL, whose line seems to fade at times for some couples the secret to a long lasting relationship is reciprocity, this being the act of giving and taking, the minute the giving becomes a one sided habit, it is then time to rethink your position on the whole thing.

Parenting, couples and all forms of partnerships in SL that require more than one person and involve feelings are a complex thing, because the feelings are there and most of the time are quite strong but SL relationships no matter the nature that started them are limited by the lack of physical proximity, a touch, his smell, a number of things real couples take for granted but those SL based do not enjoy and have to find work-arounds on.

I have always noticed how people rush into getting married in SL as if it was the most normal thing in the world, and sometimes this marriage vow and ceremony don't seem to be taken as seriously as they should, avatars or not, there are people behind them and these people have feelings.

I've always stood by the belief that vows are to be taken seriously and that "for better or for worse" really does mean that, that is until your own personal or mental well being is at stake, that is when you have to take a few steps back and let things unfold and take the path life will lead them to.

As far as Second Life is concerned, do keep a few things in mind when dealing with the platform: keep it real, keep it fun and keep it simple, real life is complicated enough as it is.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

Resistance is Futile...

Decided to wake up from my writing slumber today, reflecting on what has been going around me recently as a semi-active internet user of several social platforms. We've all faced changes and "improvements" that are supposed to enhance our experience as a whole and to which we oppose quite strongly at first, to later forget we did once we get used to it or find purpose on these updates.

Much like the Borg, I see big company conglomerates on the internet as a rare species that offer something we need (no, these type of Borg are not openly hostile) or at least we live under the illusion that we need what they offer; my son for one has never opened a twitter or a Facebook account and he doesn't seem to be planning on opening one in the distant future and yes, he seems quite contempt with not being up to date with technologies or social platforms.

One of the things that have always disturbed me about using Facebook for example, is the fact that our information is handed out freely and without a fight by us, the users to later be used by third party applications and advertisers working within Facebook -and God knows what else-. Don't get me wrong, I happen to be a very avid Facebook user, but my use of it is limited to promoting my image, my writings and venues on the internet, since we live in the era of social platforms and blogs, whatever it's posted on the internet gets more exposure -if done right- than through any other type of media in the past or present.

Timeline, Poke suggestions, Click the ad, join the farm or whatever it is that you do on the social platform of your choosing, keep in mind what your goal is as the average user and what information you wish to make public for ever and ever -i.e content can't be removed, just temporarily deleted-, but in the end resistance is futile and we all end up being assimilated, and much like the Borg, happy that we were.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

The Prince Charming myth

He's wonderful, perfect, just what your dreams are made of, and most of you out there will spend the rest of your days wondering where he is and why is taking him so long to walk into your life and sweep you off your feet, making everything taste like candy and looking like rainbows.

Chances are that your prince charming has already walked into your life in one of those serendipitous acts and you have not noticed since you are too busy with a preformed idea of what your better half should be.

Some psychologists say that a map of our ideal partner is formed in our brain during our first six years of age, mapped by those dominant character traits from our parents and siblings, others estate that the ideal partner is embedded in our brain genetically, as our brain forms and develops inside our mother's womb.

Personally, I do not believe in love at first sight, I do not defend the idea of soul mates or that perfect companion that it is out there and will be dumped on our lap by a series of random acts -it being called destiny or fate-, to bring completion and balance to our life; relationships take work, compromise and a daily effort with that person that you found compatible and desirable for a number of reasons, it is on the day by day where perfection is found.

If a potential is not willing to put the extra effort to make sure that you stick around, brush it off and move on, plenty of men out there in that wide world of relationships and dating.

Just my two cents

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls

The uniqueness of avatars

When we initially join second life, we do not have much of an idea of what we want out of it, where will it lead us towards or what we are going to look like; due to the lack of linden or a clear idea on how to procure ourselves with them, we resort to the always popular freebie shops to get us started on our road to individuality.

But then we discover shops and the ability to get better looking articles, such as HD skins, clothes and flexy hair, some even for really good price/quality and we then start on our very personal journey to individuality.

As a shop owner, I have resorted many times to the always easy to handle bots (namely alt accounts who sometimes have AI intelligence and can be placed on a pose stand for a quick shot), but I have discovered recently that they are lacking something that many of us have, a spirit, and individual aura which is merely the reflection of someone's hard work and investment over the course of months to get the right look that feels good for you.

But what happens when you are faced with an avatar out there who by mere chance found your shape, skin, hair and even animation HUD as attractive as you did back then and turns out to be an almost exact copy of the person you have become in second life? Some may find this annoying, invasive or even amusing, but as close as you as this other person may look, there are small details that do make a difference, making the avatar a clear reflection of your individual experiences.

Be as it may, you always have two choices, change your look (I'd start by the shape which is basically what makes you YOU) or laugh it off and move on.

https://www.facebook.com/spikecls